The Coach Approach

What I refer to as The Power of Using Questions could also be called a "coach approach.” This is because it is the central approach used by Life Coaches. The use of powerful questions is the primary tool of the trade for Life Coaches.

So what is the Coach Approach? At its root, it is helping someone discover their own solutions through the use of guided questions. This is in contrast to “offering advise” or suggesting what one should do. If a person is in a role of helping other people through life problems or a crises or solving a problem, or whatever the issue might be, their options at hand to help the other person are to advise, instruct, or problem solve. Each of these assumes that we are somewhat of an expert concerning the issue, or have at least had experience with the concern at hand. But the fourth option is the coach approach. This approach assumes the other person to be the expert.

Whatever the concern may be, we may well be an expert or have considerable experience, but if we limit ourselves to the options of advising, instructing, or problem solving, we limit ourselves to whom we can help. After all, who are we to advise, instruct, or problem solve an issue with which we have had no experience? So, if I have not had experience related to the other person’s issue, then I am not qualified to help - unless I use the coach approach.

So a big advantage of the coach approach is that we are not required to be the expert. The “expert” is the one we are attempting to help. We are simply leading them to discover a solution that is within them but is eluding them. Or, if it is not within them, we help them discover the solution elsewhere. And, we do all this through the use of questions.

Though the terms “coach” and “mentor” are often used interchangeably, technically they are not the same.  While it is not important that we have our terms straight, I believe it is helpful to understand the difference so we also understand what we are attempting to do and do it with more intentionality and effectiveness.

Mentoring:   Mentoring has its origins in apprenticeship. This is the practice of an older and/or more experienced individual passing down his or her knowledge and experience of how a task is done. In this context, a mentor was an ‘expert’ passing along his expertise to the novice.

The mentor approaches the subject from the outside. That is, from his own experiences and training, and is assumed to be the expert in the relationship. It can be a very helpful approach, allowing the mentee to learn from the experiences and mistakes of the mentor.

But being a mentor has its limitations. It is limited to the experiences and training of the mentor. The mentor is unable to take the mentee beyond his own capabilities. A good example of this is the internationally acclaimed, rowing coach, Mike Spracklen.

Spracklen has coached olympic and world championship rowing teams. One of his best known teams was the duo Andy Holmes and Steve Redgrave. When he first coached them, he did so out of his experience and technical knowledge of the sport. But with Holmes & Redgrave, who went on to win 5 Olympic gold medals between 1984 & 2000, he reached the limitations of his knowledge. He could take them no further.

As he grappled with this, he began to coach out of their experience. He said, “They feel things that I can’t even see.” This reverses the approach. The coach becomes a facilitator to help the person being coached to discover what is already in them and helps them make the application.

Coaching: In the beginning, Mike Spracklen “coached” the rowing team of Holmes and Redgrave through instructing and advising. But when he reached his limitations he shifted to the “coach approach.” In doing so, he shifted from being the one with the knowledge and expertise to assuming the rowing team to be the ones with the knowledge and expertise and his role shifted to helping them discover what they knew and apply it to their situation.

In my coaching experience, I have discovered that the knowledge of the person I’m coaching is seldom the issue. Most know more than what they are doing. The problem is that they don’t see how to apply what they know to their situation. My role as a coach is to help them discover the application.

In taking the coach approach, what will be the limitations? One limitation will be the “coach’s” ability to use questions to guide the PBC. But the primary limitation will be the PBC’s themselves.  Will the PBC follow through with the solutions the coach helps them discover? And if they do, how well will they apply them?

The Coach Approach:  In her book, “Christ-Centered Coaching,” Jane Creswell, who was one of my coaching trainers, makes these statements about the coaching approach:

• Coaching focuses on discovery. The coach won’t provide the answer, make decisions for you, or tell you what to do.
• Coaching can help on two levels: They can help a person on a micro level find his or her untapped potential to make each day productive. They can also help a person on a macro level rediscover his or her focus/call/purpose and move toward leading a life of significance.
• A coach will help you find untapped resources within yourself.
• Coaching is not counseling, consulting, or mentoring. It’s not therapy. A coach is not a “man with a plan” who has gone before you and knows whether “the plan” works or leaves disaster in its path. In consulting and mentoring, the expertise lies in the consultant or the mentor and is transferred to the person. Counseling is about resolving how the past informs the present. But coaching is only about the present and moving forward.

Considering what has been said so far, what a coach is or isn’t looks like this:

What A coach Is – a sounding board a facilitator an awareness raiser

What a Coach Is Not – a problem solver a teacher an adviser an instructor a counselor an expert

Leave a comment. Let me know what you think.

Using the Power of Questions with Problem Solving

In previous blogs I have explained what I mean when I refer to The Power of Using Questions and also how the use of questions can benefit you in your various relationships. In my last blog I demonstrated how The Power of Using Questions can be used to benefit a friend who asks for your advice.

If you have read my previous blogs you are beginning to realize that there is nothing complicated about using this approach. It doesn't require a college degree to benefit from it, and, in fact, may be an approach you already use to some degree without giving it much thought. You are simply doing what comes naturally. But by being intentional with it, and with practice, you can make it a powerful tool for good in your relationships.

While I use this tool formally in formal coaching relationships, I use it informally on a consistent basis in a variety of relationships and settings. Usually those to whom I am relating have little awareness that I am using questions with a purpose. It is normally interpreted as having an interest in what they are telling me. And on those occasion in which I am able to help a person make a discovery, they may not even be aware that my questions led them to the discovery. What doesn't happen, though, is for them to go away thinking that I gave them unwanted or bad advise. Why is this? Because I don't normally give advise in these situations. I have only helped them make their own discovery.

For those of us who are often in roles of helping others in an informal 'counseling' or 'consulting' role, this approach may require a significant shift. Many of us like to hear ourselves talk and want to feel that we have good advise to give. But in reality how often is our advise either shrugged off or forgotten soon after the conversation ends because it has had little impact on them. It was not their idea and was not seriously incorporated into their thinking. They didn't own it.

My point, then, is that when our first concern is to help someone find solutions we will want, in our effort to help them, to lead with questions rather than jumping in too quickly with advise. Therefore we begin the effort to help them by asking questions that probe and help them explore possibilities. My goal in most situations is to continue this process of listening and probing with questions until the person reaches an 'aha' moment in which the 'lights come on' for them and the solution becomes apparent.

On occasion, however, after several cycles of listening and probing and making little or no headway, the person will say, "tell me what you think?" If, by this time in the conversation, I believe I have something to offer and there is limited opportunity to lead them with further questions, I may go ahead and tell them what I think.

By this point, though, they are ready to hear what I have to say. I have examined the issue with them carefully and have a good understanding of it. I have demonstrated that I value their opinion and understanding of the issue. So now they are ready to listen and consider what I have to say.  Once I have told them what I think, a new possibility is on the table and it may be beneficial to return to the use of questions and probe this new possibility.

I recall an occasion when a couple of leaders from a community service organization asked to meet with me to help find a solution concerning a difficult person in their organization who was being disruptive to the organization. Taking my usual approach, I tried to lead them to discover of a solution by use of questions. After a while it became apparent that we were going in circles and not coming to a solution. So finally, one of the leaders said to me, "could you just tell us what you think we should do?" And so I did.

You might ask, "why didn't you just tell them in the first place?" Certainly I could have, but I think any advise I would have given too soon would have been premature. The questioning was helpful for them to explore alternatives and helpful for me to understand the dynamics of the situation. In the end, what they were asking me to do was not really to give them advise but to help them decide which alternative to choose.