How Can the Power of Asking Questions Benefit You?

In my previous blog, I asserted that, “Anyone in most any situation can increase their effectiveness in relating to others by learning to ask questions and to quit ‘telling’ long enough to listen to the answers.” Though the use of questions as a powerful tool is the primary tool in the toolbox of the professional coach, it is not necessary for one to be a professional coach or to have gone through coach certification.

So how can you make use of questions to benefit your relationships? I will address other roles in future blogs, but for now, let's assume you are in some type of leadership role. Maybe you are a leader by profession or in a voluntary role. In either case, the use of questions is a paradigm shift, shifting from you, the leader as the one empowered to empowering the person to whom you are relating.

This assertion raises two questions immediately. How does this shift empower the other person? Why would a leader want to empower the one they are leading?

The simple shift to ‘asking’ someone rather than ‘telling’ them is one that automatically empowers them. It assumes that they might know something of value about the issue at hand. In addition, it suggests that their understanding of the issue and possible solutions, remedies, or courses of action might actually guide the course taken rather than having to implement the plans of their leader(s).

However subtle the shift, the impact of empowering and motivating the other person is huge. Even those not greatly observant will sense the significance of the shift. They may not trust it at first, but they will sense it.

As for the second question, “Why would a leader want to empower the one they are leading?” this is a legitimate questions in some settings. In some settings the dynamics of the relationship between leader and follower may not allow it. Besides this type of setting the question might also be asked by a leader who is not particularly secure in his/her leadership. If you are one who doesn't feel completely secure in your leadership role and fear that making a shift that might empower those your lead, let me assure you that making this shift not only empowers the follower but also empowers the leader.

I learned this lesson from a very astute supervisor. Rather early in his role as my supervisor he proposed reworking my job role as well as those of my peers. I was prepared to have him tell us what our roles should be. Instead, he began by asking us what our roles should be and what they should accomplish. That was immensely empowering for those of us on staff. The lesson I learned from that experience for future reference was that his move to take this approach also empowered his position as leader. We had no desire to usurp his role as leader but were motivated to follow his leadership.

Give it a try, leader. I think you will like the outcome. Stay tuned, though, as we discuss in more detail how to make use of the Power of Using Questions in future blogs.